Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
