Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
