Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
