what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
