He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
