I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
