I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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