never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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