I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
