Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
