Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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