Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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