Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
