I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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