If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize