Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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