a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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