I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
