i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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