Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x

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(410): View more from Maryland

260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.

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(817): View more from Texas

i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket

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(419): View more from Ohio

I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.

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(972): View more from Texas

I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.

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(831): View more from California

Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline

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(620): View more from Kansas

Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.

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(503): View more from Oregon

we're so committed to being not committed

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(239): View more from Florida

No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.

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