you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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