The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
