Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just want to make out with him forever
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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