Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
