i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
