No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Actions speak louder than pants.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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