i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize