I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
