Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
