Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
