I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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