How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
