The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
