The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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