Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
handjob tips. give me some.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
