just come out here and I will go home with you...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
