we have officially lost it.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
