Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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