So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
