after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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