i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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