he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
