Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
