I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
