Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
