Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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