He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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