you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
her facebook's as public as her vagina
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
