so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Randomize
