i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
