He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
