Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
