I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
