hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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