I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
