i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
