The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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