I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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