Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
