yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize