I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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