I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
