Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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