I think my vagina is haunted
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize