Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Randomize
