Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I will die if light touches me.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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