i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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